7 Reasons Why We Hold Onto Clutter
Have you ever heard someone say something + immediately it sparked an idea? Well, recently, one of our organizing members made a comment that sounded an alarm so loud we couldn’t ignore it.
There we were, inside her home, when she said, “why do I even have this stuff? It’s all clutter!”
Now, some people would look at her home + think she’s a fairly organized person but that’s not the way she sees it.
She sees stuff in the garage, in the mudroom, toys in the kid’s room, an unorganized office where she works, and a disorganized kitchen. She sees a constant cycle of things to do (on top of work + being a mom) with no rhyme or reason for when they should be done.
With nearly a decade + half of experience as interior designers + professional organizers, we know that almost everyone deals with some level of clutter.
So, if that’s true — then what exactly is clutter + why do we hold onto it?
Let’s dive on in, shall we?
What Is Physical Clutter
A professor of psychology at DePaul University in Chicago, Joseph Ferrari, defines physical clutter as “an overabundance of possessions that collectively create chaotic and disorderly living spaces.”
For some of our clients, this looks like belongings that are out of place or closets, drawers, and cabinets that are labeled “miscellaneous.” Physical clutter is what you see + tolerance levels vary from person to person.
Even if you consider yourself an organized person, you may still be confronted with physical clutter from your spouse or kids. Which is why it’s incredibly important to understand why we hold onto clutter.
But first, there’s more. Because most people think organizing stops with physical clutter — but that’s not always the case.
What Is Mental + Emotional Clutter
Just as physical “stuff” can accumulate so do things mentally + even emotionally. While there are definitely moments in everyone's lives where they can visually see small (or large) piles of clutter, mental + emotional clutter are often invisible to us + to others around us.
A study done by Queens University on mental noise, found that we have 6,200 thoughts a day. For a moment, consider what that actually means.
As human beings… we weigh the pros and cons, the safety and security of 6,200 different thoughts E-V-E-R-Y. Single. Day.
What often happens is we latch on to some of those thoughts. And we begin to live our lives with our perspective alone of these things.
In some cases, the mental + emotional thoughts fill us up + they motivate us to be the best version of ourselves (psst… that’s you cuz here you are intentionally reading something that’s written to help make you a better person).
Unfortunately, that’s not always the case. Not every thought builds us up. Some of those thoughts wear us down. They affirm what is not true.
Which means that mental + emotional clutter can be baggage that we carry around, sometimes unknowingly, and other times voluntarily until one day we remove it. We free ourselves from it.
If you’re loving this — then you’ll really enjoy The Affects of Clutter
How We Define Clutter
At Elegant Simplicity, we’re passionate about home. Invigorated to help design + organize a place for you that’s everything you need + nothing more™. So to us, the definition of clutter is simple.
“Clutter = Things. It’s a curated collection of things in our homes, on our minds + in our emotions that we don’t know what to do with. ”
And in the absence of a plan, diluted focus will always creep in.
Materialism
There is no secret that we live in a materialistic world. Jay Shetty says, “We’re wired for generosity but educated for greed.” And when you stop to think about what our worlds revolve around it’s easy to acknowledge how true this statement actually is.
The very reason you see ads in your newsfeed, commercials in what you're watching on youtube + discounts sent to your email is to sell you stuff.
And our society revolves around words like: more, abundance, bulk, seasonal discount. It’s like we believe that happiness is on the other side of the things we don’t have.
This can lead to stress, overwhelm, uncertainty in what to do next. And truthfully, it can lead us to question why we even have the stuff we have.
But beyond whatever we want being readily available to us (in some instances with same-day delivery) there are other reasons why we hold onto clutter.
We Hold Onto Clutter Because We Inherited It
Without question, stuff that holds sentimental meaning is difficult to get rid of.
But truthfully, if something is near + dear to your heart, let’s make it a part of your home instead of hiding it in plastic containers stored in the attic, garage or basement.
What better way to create a lasting memory of those you love than to showcase what’s important to you in your home.
We Hold Onto Clutter Because It Reminds Us Of...
Similarly, we often hold onto things because they remind us of something.
Sometimes that’s a place we visited, a time in our lives that in retrospect feels transformational or it reminds us of someone.
So, we hold onto it because it’s part of us.
But are those happy memories? If so, why is it collecting dust? Why not incorporate it into your everyday life. Think about the warm-tingly feel-good joy you’ll have every time you see or use it. You’ll literally be transported back to a moment in your life that’s worth cherishing.
How often do you really honor those moments if that special thing is stuffed inside a closet? Not often.
And if it's not such a good feeling that’s conjured up, why hold onto it?
Sometimes grief can hold us back from getting rid of things. But it can often be the removal of physical belongings that frees us of the mental + emotional clutter too.
If this is the case, toss it. No one likes to get weepy or feel like crap over something that happened in our past. Let that bad ju-ju go boo!
We Hold Onto Clutter Because It Was A Gift
This is something we’re all probably familiar with.
Nothing’s worse than having a guilty conscience that comes from trying to get rid of something that truthfully… we really don’t want, we never asked for, + honestly, never would’ve bought for ourselves.
Still, for whatever god-forsaken-reason, someone near and dear to us felt oh-so obliged to share it with us in the form of a gift *cue the crickets!*
Yep, we’ve all been there before. You’re opening the gift…the polite, sideways smile + a forced surge of agonizing excitement. HAHA!
So why, if we don’t want or even have need for this special little something, do we have such a hard time letting it go?
Well, that’s because we’re greeted with an overwhelmingly gut-wrenching level of guilt because we want nothing more than to get rid of it.
Trust me, you’re not alone so re-gifting or donating it to a charitable organization is a great way to ensure that your ‘oh so special something’ gets into the hands of someone who’ll truly love, adore + appreciate it.
We Hold Onto Clutter Because We Paid Good Money For It
Werk it boo!
You bought a pair of killer boots but fast forward 6-months later + they still have tags on them...been there done that!
Just because you spent quite a bit to buy a pair of strappy Louboutin pumps or must have Jimmy Choo’s doesn’t mean you should continue paying the physical, emotional + mental price tag that having them (only to sit in your closet + look pretty) may cause.
Past mistakes around what you need shouldn’t clutter your home or wellbeing.
Instead, consider reselling or (if possible, returning them) to free yourself, sista!
We Hold Onto Clutter Because We Might Be Able To Sell It
Selling your belongings is almost always the slowest way to remove clutter from your home.
But we get it, living in the world of OfferUp, eBay, Facebook MarketPlace (or is it Meta Marketplace now… shhh) there’s a lot of options.
Typically, what we see is unless you’ve mastered patience, are willing to commit some serious time or are already an avid reseller on some platform, then most likely beyond asking a few friends you’re best saving the hassle + donating it.
We know that can be difficult for some people.
However, bask in the warm + fuzzy, win-win feeling of knowing that someone will get to use it the way you intended to. That it will make them feel a certain way.
Below, we’ll talk about donations. So hold on a minute.
We Hold Onto Clutter Because Someone Might Want It
I have to tell you, because I’m a straight shooter, that the whole stalling strategy isn’t a good look on ya!
If you think a friend, your neighbor, a certain charity or someone else you know might want it... that’s great. Get them on the horn, as my father-in-law always says, and ask them!
If they do, then make arrangements + give it to them ASAP!
Otherwise heck, you might as well post an ad on Facebook promoting your new side hustle of being someone else’s storage unit *wink*
Like we’ve mentioned before, when it comes to clutter, the ‘someone-might-want-it’ pile accumulates fast + before you realize it, it gets out of control.
We Hold Onto Clutter Because I’m Saving It For My Kids
I can’t remember a single time when I ever asked my parents for something they owned or for something that was from their childhood (still love ya mom!)
Have you? Likely, not.
This means your kids probably won't want it either.
Now, like anything, there are certainly some exceptions.
So, if there’s something you feel they might want, by all means, ask them (especially if they are adults). If they want it…give it to them.
What To Do About Clutter
Our lives are not static, nor are our homes.
So, what you want to do is assess — where you’re at, why clutter abounds + what your next steps need to be in order to remove clutter.
Anyone at Elegant Simplicity can look about our own homes + see things that we’ve purchased or held onto + question, did we need it? Do we want it? Does it make our lives better?
And the answer won’t always be yes.
The goal is to curate a home with everything you need™ but it’s about progress not perfection.
What you want is to make decisions from a place of intentionality + purpose. You want a set of core values that drive your choices.
Friend, plan your work and work your plan.
Knowing What’s Worthwhile To Donate
Some people get held up unsure of what it is worthwhile to donate. And we’re all about simplicity over here. So, we wanted a really simple way to determine if you should donate something or trash/recycle it.
So, ask yourself this question:
Is it in good enough condition that I would not be embarrassed if I gave it to the person myself?
If the answer is:
YES: pack it up + take it there RIGHT AWAY!
NO: throw it in the trash or recycle it RIGHT AWAY!
As crazy as it sounds, we hold onto stuff in hopes of one day... because we believe it will be important, valuable or significant.
And below are a few donation spots we recommend.
Where To Donate All That Clutter
First, you should check out this: Where To Donate Clothes Responsibly to continue learning why “just donating” doesn’t really work.
Second, you should check out Ridwell, a sustainable way to reuse + recycle. They’re kind of like the Uber of the waste management industry *wink*
That said, if you’re looking for other ways to donate — here are a few.
Free The Girls or The Bra Recyclers for gently used bras + you can mail them in.
Career Gear for men’s business casual clothing + you can mail it in.
Blue Jeans Go Green for denim + shipping is free.
New Eyes for eyeglasses.
Operation Prom specific to formal wear (dresses, tuxedos, evening bags).
Souls 4 Shoes for shoe ware.
Brides Across America specific to wedding dresses will go to a military bride in need.
Not to mention national brands such as Nike, North Face, Nordstrom, and Patagonia
For Recycling Clothes: Recycling Locator, SMART or Council for Textile Recycling for finding a textile recycling outlet.
And let's not forget...
Local Churches
Local Shelters
Consignment Shops
...are all great alternatives for furniture, decor, small appliances and more.
There’s no way to get around it. Life’s going to happen. The clutter will eventually resurface because our homes are not static but the next time you try to bear hug your clutter at least now you’ll be able to identify your emotional trigger as to why you hold onto it. And then, without hesitation you’ll know exactly what to do about it.
As you push forward, along the path of getting organized + creating a place for everything to live in your home… We know that life is wonderfully chaotic + it can be difficult to make the time to create a home that honors your past + at the same time makes room for your future.
So… don’t forget, if you’re in the preliminary planning stages of your next project, let’s chat.
P.S. If you loved this article then you’re going to really enjoy the 4 Days To A More Beautiful + Functional Home.