How Our Core Values Shape Our Homes
What do core values and home have in common?
Well, dare I say… everything.
We live in a crazy-amazing world. At a moment in time where innovation is constant, things spread faster than ever before, and change is ever flowing. Helllllllooooo, AI.
And while so much of these advantages are genuinely good — our lives can also be overwhelming.
We are inundated with stuff.
Physical belongings can be dropped at our doorstep before the end of the day. And emotional and mental stuff can knock us off our feet or send us feeling sky high at simply the sound of “ding” from a message or notification.
And all of this can make you feel unsure of who you are + who you want to become.
But home is the space in this crazy-amazing world that is yours. It can be whatever you want. A place of refuge, reprieve, relaxation. It can be a place for motivation and inspiration.
It is what we make it.
Despite however fabulous, it is not digital or a highlight reel for social media. But rather home is a continuous evolution of who we are.
It is imperfectly, perfect because it is your home.
And home has the power to physically, emotionally and mentally affect you.
How we create home + with what core values we build it with — truly does matter.
So, my friend, let’s dive in, grow together + discuss what core values are + why they’re important at home.
What Are Core Values
Core values are simply beliefs. They emphasize what we stand for (or what we hope to stand for) and they guide us in our behaviors and our actions.
Naturally, when we’re aware of what our core values are we live + operate in accordance with them.
But when we lack clarity around our core values, it’s really easy to fall victim to doing things that aren’t in alignment with who we want to be.
And when this happens, we create a level of internal friction for ourselves. This friction boils into frustration. And then, this frustration continues on for however long we allow it.
Why Core Values Are Important At Home
People often assume they have a set of core values that they live by. Furthermore, they raise kids and expect that their kids will learn these values too.
But they’ve never actually taken the time to identify + clarify for themselves, let alone for others like their kids, what those core values really are.
And that’s a problem when it comes to the world we live + operate in. Where everything we do is tracked, retargeted to us on the sidebar of a blog we’re reading (not ours though *wink*) + ultimately inundated us with something else to buy or to make a decision around.
James Clear, author of Atomic Habits, says nearly every problem we face is temporary so we should let our values drive our choices.
Think for a moment about someone who decides to tidy up their space, remodel their master bathroom, furnish their bedroom or design and build a new home.
What values typically drive their actions?
How quickly can I get it or get it done? Fast. Easy.
How much does it cost? Affordable. Cheap.
These are two of the most common ways people make decisions around everything in their home.
But if we follow James Clear’s advice, then whatever challenge we’re having in our homes is temporary + we should make decisions not from what does it cost + how quickly can I have it but from a set of core values that fill us up + guide us.
And now think about the lessons that making decisions with a set of clear core values has on the way you feel about your home. Or the way your kids and others feel about your home.
Values like achievement, creativity, impact, and uniqueness.
That’s why core values are an incredibly important, but often overlooked, aspect to creating a home with everything you need + nothing more. Because home should represent what you value.
Regardless of what the world pushes in front of you, making decisions about your home with clarity in your own core values fills your home with what you truly desire.
Core Values You’ll Love
Below is a list of 55 core values (in alphabetical order) that we often hear from our clients when discussing what their personal, family and home values are and/or what they hope they will become.
Core Values List
Authenticity
Achievement
Adventure
Balance
Beauty
Boldness
Clarity
Celebration
Compassion
Contribution
Creativity
Curiosity
Desire
Determination
Difference
Fairness
Faith
Friendships
Fun
Grit
Growth
Happiness
Honesty
Humor
Impact
Influence
Inner Harmony
Kindness
Knowledge
Leadership
Learning
Love
Loyalty
Openness
Optimism
Originality
Peace
Pleasure
Poise
Recognition
Religion
Reputation
Respect
Responsibility
Security
Self-Respect
Service
Spirituality
Success
Transformation
Trustworthiness
Togetherness
Uniqueness
Wealth
Wisdom
How To Define Core Values At Home
We are big believers that defining core values at home builds a rock solid foundation for not only realizing the life you want to live but also aligning your decision making process for creating a home with everything you truly want + need.
Here are a handful of questions to help you not simply grab words from the core values list above BUT help establish what each core value means to you. If you have kids, this is a great process to involve them in. And if you’re doing it yourself, don’t feel rushed to get it completed.
We suggest landing on about 5 core values. It’s enough but not so many that you’ve watered down their importance.
What’s really important to you? What matters? Prioritize these things.
Family
Adventure
Happiness
Money
Time
Passions
This list can go on + on…
How do you want to connect with others? Or for your kids to engage with others?
Compassionate
Loyal
Honest
Responsible
Fair
Likewise, this list can also go on + on
What do you want your family to be known for? And how do you personally want to be remembered?
Kind
Trustworthy
Fun
Creative
This list can go on + on…
And once you have a list of answers, now start to narrow in on what really epitomizes those feelings because the point of any personal core value is to act in accordance with them.
In Start With Why, Simon Sinek says, “for core values or guiding principles to be truly effective they have to be verbs. It’s not “integrity,” it’s “always do the right thing.” It’s not “innovation,” it’s “look at the problem from a different angle. Articulating our values as verbs gives us a clear idea of how to act in any situation.”
I love that quote. And I think it’s a fantastic exercise to do once you’ve landed on a set of core values for yourself, your family and ultimately what will drive decision making at home.
Importance Of Core Values For Kids
John + I get our best work done in the mornings so we typically wake around 3 AM + work until Brooks wakes up.
One morning, lil man woke at about 3:45am primed + ready to start his day. When John tried to get him back to sleep Brooks got really frustrated and started to cry saying “but in our house we are early risers, Dad.”
That story shows the significance of how visible, even to a 3 year old, the core value of (effort) or staying process focused, not outcome focused can have. It’s a glimpse into what our actions, not our words, are teaching Brooks about the lives we live.
Teaching core values to young kids is important for their character development and helps them build a strong foundation.
How To Teach Core Values To Young Kids
Model The Behavior Yourself
Children learn by example, so it's important to model the behavior you want to see in your children. If for instance, your family core values were kindness, honesty, and respect, then you want to show them how to act with those values + they will follow suit.
Talk About Values
Discuss core values with your children, and explain why they are important. Of course, for children of different ages you’ll use age-appropriate language but in either case you’re going to make it fun, light-hearted + engaging. These are opportunities for you to incorporate games that demonstrate or exemplify your core values.
Read
Reading books about core values can be a great way to introduce them to your children. Choose books with stories that reinforce the core values you want to teach.
Role-Play
Role-playing can be a fun and effective way to teach core values. Take turns playing different scenarios, and talk about how different actions align with different values. We can’t expect children (or anyone) to embody “leadership” “honesty” etc if we’ve never exemplified what that looks like. Role playing is the perfect way to further learning around core values.
Reward Good Behavior
When you see your child demonstrating a core value, reward them. This can be as simple as a hug or a high five, or you can create a chart and give them a sticker for each time they demonstrate a certain value.
Be Consistent
Consistency is key when it comes to teaching core values. Make sure you're consistently reinforcing the values you want to instill in your children.
Remember, teaching core values to young kids is an ongoing process. And nothing about home is constant but core values tend to be the foundation that anchors all of this together. Keep the conversation going, and continue to model the behavior you want to see in your children. Over time, you'll see the positive impact it has on their character development + in the environment you create in your home.
Without core values, creating a home with everything you need + nothing more is a moving target where each decision you make is based on how you feel in the moment, not on a set of beliefs.
And ultimately the end result will leave you discontent. Impulsive decision making fails every time because as Rory Vaden says “easy short term choices lead to difficult long term consequences.”
Creating a home is worth taking the time to get it right. To identify + decide a set of values for yourself, your family + your home that you can lean on.
That’s our rift for today, thanks for tuning in :)
Don’t forget, if you’re in the preliminary planning stages of your next project, let’s chat.
P.S. If you loved this article then you’re going to really enjoy the 4 Days To A More Beautiful + Functional Home. And you might also enjoy, the 7 Elements Of Interior Design.