Unlocking The Secrets To Thriving Healthy Relationships In Your Home
In the world of home design + professional organizing, the conversation of home often revolves around visual aesthetics — color schemes, furniture selection, containers, closet systems, and layouts.
However, at Elegant Simplicity®, we see home differently.
And we recognize that the essence of a truly harmonious home lies in the spoken + unspoken connections between those who live there. This profound understanding is what transforms a well-designed home into a place of shared affection.
For nearly 15 years, Sherri + I have worked alongside one another at Elegant Simplicity.
We’ve helped couples navigate the process of designing + organizing their homes. We’ve been involved in the intimate conversations of reimaging what home looks like for them in the future. And we’ve had our own share of unique experiences building a family + creating a home of our own together.
We care deeply about the relationships that are fostered in the spaces that our team organizes + in the homes our team designs. Recently, while on a project — a client said, “you + Sherri should be compensated for the hours of therapy you provide in the process of creating someones home.”
We smiled.
And we chuckled inside because since 2009 we’ve known that relationships are the foundation to a beautiful home.
Our clients + the Elegant Simplicity community of readers want a home that isn’t just beautifully designed + well-organized but is everything they truly need + nothing more®. A space that takes into consideration the people + relationships that live there. A home that places their desire for deep meaningful connection with self + those they love at the forefront.
That is a home + a life that is Elegant Simplicity®.
If we are to truly change the worlds perspective of home, we can no longer ignore the foundation that supports strong, resilient, and deeply impactful homes. The relationships that we foster in them are paramount. And that’s what we’re bringing you, today.
Let’s dive deep into why communication is not the, only, key to healthy relationships + discover together what unlocking the secrets to thriving relationships in your home actually looks like.
Is Communication The Key To Healthy Relationships?
As we’ve navigated the years of marriage together + the experiences we’ve had working with couples in creating their own vision of home, Sherri + I have often heard the old adage, “communication is the key to a healthy relationship.”
Communication is absolutely paramount to a healthy relationship. But healthy communication in a relationship is also loaded with other important values like: actively listening, respectfully acknowledging the opinions of others and trust.
And because our natural state is to question the status quo, we couldn’t help but begin to wonder… is communication really the only key to healthy relationships?
Well, after much contemplation in our opinion, it’s not.
Like the art of home design, there isn’t just one element that creates harmony in relationships; it’s the careful balance of many.
At Elegant Simplicity®, we believe that the foundation of a beautiful home mirrors the elements of strong, thriving relationships. And that strong bonds between the people that live there absolutely can influence the peace and beauty of the home.
So, if communication isn’t all that matters in the realm of healthy relationships, what else does?
A Shared Sense Of Core Values Leads To Healthy Relationships
We’ve written a tone about core values for the home.
And that’s really because when we’re aware of our core values, we can live + operate in accordance with them. In doing so, we make decisions with these core values for the betterment of our family, as well as incorporate these values into the decisions + selections we make for our life + home.
“Think for a moment, when was the last time you made any relatively important decision for yourself, your family or your home?”
What was the basis or framework you used to make this decision?
How did you know it was the right decision for you, your family or your home?
Who did you consult with prior to your decision?
Without clarity in your core values + without a shared sense of agreement in those values, then our relationships lack depth.
There’s no substance to “why” this decision is made from something else. On its own, a decision like “why” to invest in couples therapy, education, or a large-scale renovation on your home may be completely reasonable to one individual and unreasonable to another.
But a shared value system creates a unifying alignment with one another.
We say at Elegant Simplicity, when it comes to healthy relationships, It’s not only “what” is being communicated that is key but rather why it’s being communicated.
And this sense of core values, isn’t just between us + our spouse but present with the decisions our children make in their lives too.
What values do they fall back on to navigate their own relationships?
Do they know the values that align us as a family?
Where did they see them modeled in our home?
Connection Through Quality Togetherness
Recognizing that the most cherished aspect of any home are the quality of moments shared within it, our approach to creating home is rooted in embellishing opportunities for connection.
Healthy relationships in your home require quality time together. And your home should create opportunities for communication + interactions to occur. But for them to also naturally flourish.
From the power of a well-placed cozy seating area to invite intimate conversations, a communal kitchen island that becomes a hub for family storytelling, or a serene outdoor space that encourages quiet reflection and connection with nature, opportunities for connection should abound in your home.
It’s in these moments that you can engage in meaningful conversations, share experiences with one another, and learn from each other. We say, home should be a catalyst for connection. So, it’s not about the grandeur or extravagance; it's about fostering an environment where presence and engagement are part of the home's very essence + seamlessly woven into the fabric of daily life.
Home should be the foundation for the healthy relationships in our lives. It’s where we engage in meaningful dialogue + bond as a family.
The Art Of Respectful Recognition In Healthy Relationships
One of the most profound methods that Sherri + I operate our relationship off of came from a book by Kim Scott, called Radical Candor. In it, Scott says, “A good rule of thumb for feedback is praise in public, criticize in private” and while we’ve simplified this phrase to: “praise in public, critique in private” the core remains.
Context is everything here — But in most people, criticism elevates a defense mechanism where it can be difficult to acknowledge a mistake + actually learn from it. Learning is the key here — so Sherri + I critique one another in private — when the setting is appropriate and each of us feels ready to receive, hear + grow through the criticism.
But always, we stand in praise of one another in public. The energy and the effort that Sherri + I contribute to our relationship, to make our home + our life Elegant Simplicity® is honored by one another when we praise the other in the presence of others. In those moments when we praise, we’re considerate to recognize their voice, their feelings, their desires and their needs even if our own feelings are slightly different.
And a lot of this has to do with trust.
Trust Is Built In Healthy Relationships
Blind trust from the beginning shouldn’t exist in relationships. In our opinion, trust is built through consistent actions and truthful communication in your home.
When family’s trust each other, there’s a sense of security that encourages openness and honesty. Spouses are willing to continue to grow into the best versions of themselves as individuals and children are encouraged to develop their own identities all of this without judgment from anyone close to them.
Trust isn’t just about believing or not believing what someone says — trust in a healthy relationship is fostered in your home by commitment to doing the little things like taking care of each other, by respecting the spaces you’ve created and by a willingness to be vulnerable and to share with one another openly.
There are several ways that we’ve discovered over the years to develop trust in the home.
Routines With Responsibility
Some people call these chores but chores are often given as a punishment. Routines with responsibility are an acknowledgement that everyone shares a role in taking care of the home physically. And trust is built over time when we do what we say we’re going to do.
Random Acts Of Kindness
It is hard to find anything more beautiful than the smile our son Brooks sees in return from Sherri, when he surprises her with fresh flowers, holds the door for her, does one of her routines around the home or simply says, “mom, I looooooooove you.” Random acts of kindness although, kind at their core, build emphatic trust that vulnerability is acceptable.
Space For Meaningful Interaction
Yes, we’ve talked a lot about how important having space to bond is for healthy relationships. And all of those reasons still apply but trust is another reason. One of our previous clients needed space designed for family happy hours. And no, this isn’t your adult space but rather a moment their family gathers as a team, huddles and discusses the week. What things went right, what went wrong + how do we improve them in the future.
Healthy Relationships Have Peaceful Resolution
Conflict in the home is inevitable. Yep, you read that right.
Disagreements are a part of building something amazing together.
Now, sometimes you’ll argue about things like which sectional to choose, where to vacation or which interior designer or professional organizer to hire (psst… no need to argue over this one *wink*).
And other times, there’s going to be friction around heavier areas of life like relationships, physical, mental or emotional health, finances, retirement or children.
Whatever the topic of the disagreements, they should always come to a peaceful resolution with time. Note the last two words: “with time” because we can never force our partner to emphatically decide. But a shared value system that says, “we’re better together” should bring both sides back together.
Constructive conflict resolution strategies that Sherri + I use are that create peaceful resolutions and create healthy relationships are:
Expressing concern without blame
On the other side, listening actively
Eventually, partnering together to find solutions
This might be between spouses, between children or between family and friends. Whatever the conflict is the way forward in your home is always through falling back on your core values + connection.
Go Beyond Words
Studies have shown one of the most powerful forms of non-verbal communication is affection. Affection strengthens the emotional bond between you + others. And healthy relationships that have affection, convey genuine love + support in many different ways.
In your home, conveying affection can be through simple gestures like cleaning up for someone, helping them complete a task that they’re doing, showing appreciation for something they’ve created.
If you have children, a silent way to show affection is to display their work on your walls or to simply admire their work + allow them space to explain to you what they’ve created.
For spouses, a simple gesture like making their morning coffee, looking at you Sherri, *wink*, a hug before they’re off to work or priming their environment ahead of something you know they need to do furthers the connection between one another.
Healthy Relationships Create A Harmonious Home
The concept of harmony in the home goes beyond mere aesthetics and as we say at Elegant Simplicity® creates emotional resonance.
A harmonious home is a sanctuary. It’s where the rhythms of daily life play out but there’s a backdrop of mutual respect and understanding. It’s a home where the architecture, the design + the organizing serve not only the needs of those who live there but honor their stories. The spaces within have walls that are thoughtfully curated to encourage connection while also respecting individuality.
And because of this relationships within the family flourish. From the shared laughter that echoes through the hallways to the supportive silence that blankets the living room during times of reflection, each element contributes to unity and harmony.
Empathy In The Home
Empathy is the cornerstone of a compassionate home environment, where each person's feelings and perspectives are not just acknowledged but deeply felt and understood.
Design choices in a home with lots of empathy create communal spaces that are comfortable and inviting like the warm hug of a loved one while simultaneously creating private areas designed to be retreats for solace and self-care.
Empathy in the home also means creating an atmosphere where communication flows freely, where every voice is heard, and where the challenges of one are met with the support of all. It's in this nurturing space that trust is built, bonds are strengthened, and the true meaning of home is realized.
Healthy Relationships Have A Commitment To Growth
Healthy relationships in the home have a commitment to growth + a confidence to iterate and change when necessary.
A commitment to growth in the home looks like:
A willingness to extract the good + learn from the experiences you have
A willingness to adapt to change
A willingness to communicate your desires + aspirations
A willingness to discuss your limiting beliefs + fears
And this type of mindset encourages everyone, individuals, spouses + children to view challenges as opportunities.
Because we are stuck for a moment does not mean we are defined by that challenge. And a healthy relationship creates a home that knows friction doesn’t define them.
That’s our rift for today, thanks for tuning in :)
Don’t forget, if you’re in the preliminary planning stages of your next project, let’s chat.
P.S. If you loved this article then you’re going to really enjoy the 4 Days To A More Beautiful + Functional Home. And you might also enjoy, the 7 Elements Of Interior Design.