Kids Organizing + How To Positively Encourage Them
Kids organizing can be hard, especially if you’re unsure or unfamiliar in terms of where to begin with organizing yourself. None-the-less, the reality is whether you're a beginner or you’re extremely confident in your ability to organize on your own –– kids organizing is an acquired skill.
It’s something you learn on the job — like parenting, grandparenting or aunt + uncling *wink*
We live in a world that’s focused on having more and we live in a society that is focused on bigger + better. Which means that the role you play in helping your kids (or the lil ones you love) learn to get organized + then how to maintain organizing systems in their own life is actually really significant.
If for this reason only… these aren’t skills the world is interested in teaching them.
Instead, the world is fighting for their viewership on YouTube + with Amazon Wishlists… or whatever else they could possibly be into...you name it. And that’s because those creators understand the value of their attention (insert what your kids will eventually want to buy here) after they see an ad, a promotion, or a commercial.
So… how do you teach your kids the fundamentals of living with less? The basics of organizing at their level — so that they not only can begin to learn but want to maintain it over the course of their life?
Well… let’s talk about where to start with kids organizing!
Involve Your Kids
You’re going nowhere fast if you’re trying to organize without your kids. Older or younger, they need to be involved.
Step back + think about it… that makes a ton of sense doesn’t it?
You’re not going to dress them forever...
You’re not going to get them into college… well, at least not legally *wink*
And you’re not going to be able to answer for them in a job interview someday.
So my friend, what you need to do is help them prepare, at every stage of life, but especially when it comes to knowing how to deal with their belongings. And the only way to do that... is to involve them in the organizing process.
From a really early age (as early as 3 years old if they’re communicating well) you want to work with them through the entirety of organizing their stuff. Now I get it, this may sound a bit idealistic for your kid but I promise you...kids organizing is all about them.
So you’ll need to go at their pace.
If they’re really young, you may even need to make a few executive decisions every now + again *wink* but for the most part they will be engaged. And I know this to be true because together our team has organized with a lot of kids (+ parents) over the years.
The entire time you’re talking about their belongings + their toys. What kid do you know that’s ever said — “I’m done playing. Pay me less attention.”
Involving them in kids organizing does two things regardless of age:
They will know exactly where everything is. Our son, Brooks, is a complete know-it-all, especially when it comes to knowing where his toys are, where his favorite shirt is… and he’s three :)
They’ll also take on a sense of ownership in their room. And that’s incredibly important because, you know from experience, that when you take on ownership you’re more likely to take care of it. To nurture it. To maintain it.
Assess + Give Permission
You’re the authority figure in the room. Which means you don’t want to dive into simply pulling things out + analyzing the stuff 1-by-1.
Instead, what you actually want to do is talk with kids about the space in its entirety, ask questions about what they want or what they envision for this area of your home. And don’t be afraid to be inquisitive here… make sure they’re really expanding + processing why they say something.
Once you’ve talked about their desires for change + also yours (you get a say in this) — now, you want to give them permission to get rid of things.
But how you go about giving them permission is key… discuss not only that they have a choice + a say in this process but also in finding a new home, or charity, for this stuff.
Sometimes, even kids, hold onto things they don’t really care about or that they no longer play with simply because they don’t want to hurt someone's feelings or they don’t know yet how to embrace change.
Now I know that we can all relate when it comes to getting awkward gifts at Christmas time + trying to muster up a not-so-confused, “Thank you! You shouldn’t have.” While in the back of our minds what we’re really wanting to say was, “I wish you wouldn’t have!” *wink*
Nevertheless, give permission.
If along the way your kids choose something to donate that you don’t want them to give away, process through things with them asking why they don’t want to keep it. And then explaining why you hope they’ll reconsider.
Be Mindful Of Your Words — And Specific
One of the things we do when it comes to teaching Brooklyn about organizing, is we try our best not to tell him that he needs to “put his toys away.”
Like I said, we do our best (which is often flawed #WompWomp) to help him understand that everything that belongs to him... has a home. That it occupies space in our home + it has a place that it lives.
And when we’re done using something, we need to put it back where it belongs so that the next time we need it or we want to play with it — we know right where to find it.
Certainly, it’s not a perfect system, kids at all ages aren’t always going to feel inclined in the moment to stop playing (or as Brooklyn says “just chill for a minute”) + put something away. But when you encourage them to stay organized because it benefits them in the long run, it really has a positive effect on their willingness to not only do it but to keep doing it over and over again.
Create A Points Rewards System For Maintenance
John always says that one of the things you learn in coaching college athletes is that they often don’t fully understand the expectations early on and so your job for everyone but especially underclassmen is to really clearly define the expectations.
Well, the same is true for kids organizing.
In fact, regardless of age, expectations that you should maintain an organized room are incredibly important because they provide a simple pass-fail acknowledgment for you + for them.
See each night before bed Brooks likes to have a small bowl of popcorn. But first, we walk around the house looking for any toys or belongings of his that aren’t back in their place. And it’s a game… It's become incredibly fun to play. It’s like hunting for treasure + the reward is certainly good popcorn but it’s also knowing that all your toys are put away.
Now you might be thinking that’s great for a three year old but my kids are teenagers + their rooms are a mess. How does this work for me. Well, honestly the same goes for older kids…
You’re likely not going to walk the house with them hunting for treasure *wink* but encouraging them to adopt new habits each night or every few days by simply taking a look and assessing what is out of place in their space is an excellent skill for them to learn.
While for young kids we might describe this in elementary terms they can relate to… for older kids we merely need to help them make tiny changes that have huge rewards.
So, what about this rewards or points system?
Well, creating a rewards system for kids organizing is an easy + fun thing to do.
And it goes like this:
Do something you’re supposed to do + get a point.
Do something you’re not supposed to do and lose a point.
Be creative in tracking points — this can be digital or as simple as pen + paper the important thing is that everyone knows where to look to find it. The presence of the reward system alone helps encourage new routines.
Points add up to things that appeal to your kids. Be creative here…
However you draw it up, the fundamental thing here is that a point system set up the right way works. And it works because it’s basic equity theory which basically is a fancy way of saying that an individual will adjust his/her effort to ensure fairness. So, make your rewards truly things your kids enjoy.
Not to mention, the beauty of all this is it not only sets expectations and clearly defines goals but it encourages kids to develop their own organizing routines with a positive reinforcement system.
Lead By Example
Regardless of their age, if you do not lead by example your efforts to help your kids will likely fail #WompWomp and nobody wants that to happen. You’ve made it this far because you care — so constantly check-in with yourself + your kids.
One of our clients does Family Happy Hour.
It’s a fun family routine. A time that’s set aside each week (on Sunday) where everyone in the house comes together to discuss what worked + what didn’t work from the previous week. Of course given the name...there’s fun food + there are family-friendly drinks but really, the goal of Family Happy Hour is simple: appreciate the positive things that happened + draw attention to the things that need improvement.
What better way than to lead by example...
3 Points Of Emphasis For Lil’ Kids Organizing
Take breaks — lots of them. This will keep the energy high + them focused.
Introduce organizing ideas like color-coding or adding bins which stimulates mental reminders of where things belong.
Create activity zones — craft supplies in one area, toys in another. This will encourage specific activities to happen in the correct areas :)
3 Points Of Emphasis For Older Kids Organizing
Make Checklists — it’s a simple thing but it will absolutely keep everything they need to remember, front of mind.
Help them think ahead + prioritize themselves — teach them how to allocate their time + calendar what's important to them. Eventually, life will run your calendar but if you never take a moment to encourage them to put time on their schedule for themselves… well, where are they going to learn that?
Give Them Space — older kids need room to try new things out without the constant feeling of judgement (even if you’re not judgey *wink*) Calendar your time to check-in with them + ask questions but otherwise give them an opportunity to create organizing routines on their own.
Well, there you have it, my friend.
It’s safe to say that when it comes to Elegant Simplicity + kids organizing, there’s no shortage of thoughts. However, that’s not what home’s all about. Really, creating a home is more about the way you live + THEN my friend, it’s about executing and creating solutions for your home that are custom-tailored to support you, your kids, and your family. Really boo, it's about understanding the way everyday life unfolds.
Don’t forget, if you’re in the preliminary planning stages of your next project or you need help, we’d love to chat.
P.S. If this article gave you all sorts of warm, fuzzy, feel-good vibes, then you’re really going to enjoy the 4 Days To A More Beautiful + Functional Home.