How To Organize Your Life — At Home
How to organize your life at home is about shifting your mindset. And that’s because creating a home you never want to leave is a continuous journey. It’s not a final destination.
Let me explain.
When I say home is continuous — what I mean is you don’t simply wake up + be organized. Wake up + have a kitchen that is beautiful + functional. Sure, it might happen a singular time but it doesn’t happen overnight.
Now I realize that’s something most people definitely don’t want (or even like) to hear. But it’s the truth –– because life, like home, is continuous.
Think about it…
You finally get the house pulled together, everything picked up + then poof...your kids come home from soccer practice.
They drop their bags over here + their gear lands over there.
They walk in from the garage + their clothes hit the floor instead of putting them in the hamper.
They rush to sit down at the dinner table where they eat most everything on their plate before stacking their dirty dishes in the sink instead of loading them in the dishwasher before heading upstairs to do homework… Ok, let’s be real their on TikTok or Instagram but hey, they’re sitting at their desk + it looks like they’re doing homework *right?!*
But once they’re actually done with all of their homework they leave behind a trail of papers, pens, highlighters, books etc. before hopping in the shower where they toss their bath towel down the stairs for you to throw in the laundry.
And on and on the story continues like Bill Murray in the movie Groundhog Day.
You see, without a plan — you feel frustrated + overwhelmed by the fact that their soccer gear is strung across the entire house... the clothes are piling up in the hamper... the dishwasher gets ran but there it sits waiting for all of the clean dishes to be unloaded + put away... there’s not enough space at the homework station for everything to get put away + because the laundry is piling up — the next time anyone goes to take a shower they’re upset because the hot water tank has been working overtime + there’s no more hot water or they can’t find a clean towel to dry off with.
Sound familiar? That’s because this is real life, my friend + this crazy scene –– that makes you second guess whether all the time energy + effort you put into picking up the house –– plays out over + over again in so many households. And while there are a hundred different variations of how this all plays out, they all share the same crazy cycle of disorganization.
And it’s not only the stuff that’s the problem.
Before long, not only are you feeling overwhelmed but your partner starts getting short-tempered with everyone + your kids don’t know what to do or what not to do to make either of you happy.
So, Sherri, you ask, what’s the solution?
I thought you’d never ask because — how to organize your life at home requires us to really take an introspective look at + to understand the difference between behaviors, habits, and routines.
What is a Behavior?
A behavior is a response to something + quite often, that response is a direct result of discomfort. In other words, think of behaviors as things you do in response to a feeling of pain or worry.
A simple one is — you’re out in the sun + it’s hot. What do you do? Find shade.
If you’re cooking breakfast in the kitchen + the smoke detector goes off — you wave the towel in front of the smoke detector to get it to stop screaming at you because you were making bacon + know there’s no imminent threat of a fire #RealStory
Yes, many years ago, when John + I had a condo in Downtown Seattle + were learning how to cook the entire building had to be evacuated because our smoke detector went off. Whoops!
While certainly not one of our proudest moments we knew that there was never a risk of fire + yet our behaviors we in direct response to discomfort (i.e. sheepishly telling the fire department along with everyone else lining the sidewalk in their pj’s ...not to worry, it’s just bacon smoke).
What is a Habit?
A habit is something you do unconsciously while thinking of something else + is formed by doing a task over + over again. If you’re familiar with the 4 Stages Of Learning, habits are the 4th stage: unconscious competence. It when you no longer have to think about what you’re doing — you simply do it.
For instance:
When you wake up in the morning, you brush your teeth.
When you go to the bathroom, you wash your hands.
When you get out of the shower, you dry off.
These are all things we learned to do as a child.
According to Nir Eyal, an expert on behavioral design, he describes habits as being “something that feels uncomfortable when we don’t do it” and I couldn’t agree more!
When we take those three examples above — if you didn’t brush your teeth before bed it would feel uncomfortable once you realized you hadn’t done it. That’s because it’s a habit. If you went to the bathroom but didn’t wash your hands, it would feel awkward. Because it’s a habit. If you got out of the shower and didn’t dry off with a towel — it would be uncomfortable.
What is a Routine, Then?
Exactly the opposite of habits is true about routines. In fact, a routine is “a sequence of actions regularly followed.” But what Nir says so eloquently, “is that this is where people get into trouble confusing habits and routines. They expect routines to be as effortless as habits, while the only thing about routines that’s easy, is how easy they are to skip.”
Lightbulb moment, right?!?!?
“The only thing about routines that’s easy –– is how easy they are to skip.”
Habits are things you can’t skip without feeling uncomfortable + routines are things that are easy to skip. And that’s where how to organize your life at home comes in… at routines.
Looking at your routines at home + realizing they all require one thing — effort.
The First Step In How To Organize Your Life
The very first step in how to organize your life is permitting yourself.
Yep, friend — you must first allow yourself the space to say — I recognize that discomfort is a part of change + I’m going to make this behavioral response to frustration + overwhelm positive by changing my routines.
I’m simply going to permit myself to begin.
Realizing that home, like life, is continuous… I’m going to start right where I’m at — letting go + not worrying about the emotional guilt I’m carrying or the physical challenges I’m faced with by worrying about how to begin.
Psst… if that’s you, keep reading.
The Second Step In How To Organize Your Life
Is to truly understand that you not only need an organizing process to follow but you need it fully customized to you.
Ideally, you have a 1:1 organizing coach (psst… we know one *wink!*) that can work with you “routinely” to help you identify everything that you need in your home.
It’s not your professional organizer’s place to decide for you what you need which is why you want a steady + non-judgemental hand guiding you through this process of assessing, curating + transforming your home into a place you never want to leave.
The Third Step In How To Organize Your Life
Establish organizing systems around your routines.
If you recall, routines are sequences that are followed + ultimately organizing your life revolves around creating successful organizing systems that make sense for the way you live. What works for one person may not work for another.
From identifying organizing goals to creating a whole house organizing plan that you follow daily, weekly, monthly, quarterly + annually — organizing routines become established with repetition + time.
Whether it’s a checklist or a reminder app, no home is set up the same way.
You want to plan your work + then work your plan + if you don’t have a plan, reach out for help.
At Elegant Simplicity, we’re not short on organizing hacks or tips that can make home a more organized place but the reality is that how to organize your life — at home, requires dealing with discomfort (i.e. a behavior to seek help) to establish new organizing routines (sequences you follow) that are custom-tailored to you.
Well, there you have it...everything you need to know! And don’t forget, if you’re in the preliminary planning stages of your next project, let’s chat.
P.S. If you loved this article then you’re going to really enjoy the 4 Days To A More Beautiful + Functional Home.