Reality Check: 3 Reasons Why You’re Disorganized
Sean Low, a great friend + mentor of ours always says that, “frustration leads to more frustration which leads to hopelessness.”
If you’ve ever been organized but now, for whatever reason, you’re not, listen up.
If you’ve ever tried, but failed, then listen up...because you know the feeling of frustration that comes with being disorganized well.
If you’ve ever had the rewarding experience of knowing exactly where something was when you needed it or where to put it back when you were done, listen up.
If you’ve ever felt valued + appreciated for having created a magical sense of order + structure in your home that everyone in it has come to rely upon, then listen up.
If you’ve ever felt any of these things, then listen up because when you’re organizational A-game is on, you’re more badass than superwoman herself *wink*
But right now friend, there’s no order + you can’t see the forest through the trees.
All you can see is disorganization + you feel overwhelmed by it.
You’re overwhelmed because everywhere you turn you’re constantly trying to “tidy up” + it feels like no matter what –– you’re really getting nowhere. Leaving you more frustrated and dare we say, maybe even hopeless.
So before we dive into this. Before we fix what’s causing you to be disorganized — let it go. The negative emotions caused by being disorganized are only holding you back.
Take a step back, a deep breath + let go.
If you’ve done that + you feel ready, keep reading because we’re about to unlock so much goodness for you including an extremely common organizing misconception.
A belief system about organizing that’s completely and utterly fragmented, faulty + every other word under the moon that means: broken.
The Broken Belief System Behind a Disorganized Home
You walk into (insert any room in your home) + immediately you’re overcome by a feeling of unhappiness. There’s stuff everywhere. Little stuff, big stuff + stuff in between stuff :)
Standing there, ugh, you ask yourself how did this happen... again? No seriously, it was all organized, and once upon a time, everything was put away.
Well, sorta anyway.
And there lies the problem: being organized isn’t a destination that you can just hop on a private jet (oh, how we can dream), arrive at + simply bask in the sun staying there — completely organized forever.
That’s not reality! Getting organized doesn’t work that way + anyone who tells you otherwise is playing a game of smoke + mirrors with you!
And this my friend, the set it + forget it mindset, is exactly why 99% of people who live with disorganization –– despite being completely capable of having an organized home –– are disorganized!
Their beliefs around decluttering + getting organized are that you do it once and for all.
And, that’s not reality.
What about your role at work is once and for all?
What about exercising is once and for all?
What about parenting or being a good partner is once and for all?
Nothing.
It’s a broken belief system.
We’re naturally imperfect + when you acknowledge the fact that many of us are going a thousand miles a minute — organizing once and for all simply sounds nice but it isn’t reality.
Set it and forget it should only apply to your rotisserie chicken, not to getting organized.
In this human experience we’re having, we’re all a bit disorganized, friend.
But a beautiful + functional home — a home with everything you need + nothing more® evolves with you. It’s designed + organized to be used which means that it’s going to fall out of order.
So rather than lament being disorganized, or subscribe to the belief that organizing is once and done, embrace the ongoing journey of living in an organized home. Instead of ‘set it + forget it’, how about ‘set it + nurture it?’
Disorganized vs. Unorganized: What's the Difference?
Before we delve deeper, it's essential to understand the subtle differences between being disorganized and unorganized. Though seemingly interchangeable, the subtle differences actually create clarity + direction. Recognizing where you are + where certain areas of your home are is imperative.
Being Unorganized
Being unorganized refers to the absence of an organizing system that is functional for your daily habits + routines. While being disorganized is really about clutter, being unorganized is about the inefficiency that arises from not having specific places for things or well-thought-out processes for routines.
An unorganized individual might frequently find themselves running late, misplacing items, or struggling to maintain a consistent routine, not necessarily due to clutter, but due to a lack of planning and organizing systems in their home.
Being Disorganized
On the other hand, being disorganized refers to a lack of order + clutter that feels overwhelming.
It manifests in our homes as cluttered spaces that hinder functionality and cause us stress. Being disorganized is quite often the result of accumulating belongings without identifying where they should live or with inconsistency in putting things back where they belong.
A disorganized home often shows that our minds are cluttered and overwhelmed, reflecting that we’ve got to unlock emotional and sentimental clutter, before we can begin truly developing organizing systems.
With the differences between disorganized and unorganized behind us, here are 3 oh so common reasons why you might be disorganized. Once we know them, we can identify which ones we are + begin to stop them before things get wayyyy out of hand.
Disorganized Because Of Circumstance
A great example of disorganized because of circumstance that we all lived through was the Covid Pandemic. The upheaval of our lives because of this completely flipped the way we had to do things, on its head.
With the blink of any eye, this life altering change created a whole lot of chaos + along with it came an unexpected state of disorganization. But the pandemic isn’t the only situation in our lives that can thrust us from a feeling of orderly bliss into a state of disarray.
In fact, sometimes it's a completely unexpected or subtle change to our daily routine that somehow gets the best of us. Like a big project at work that forces us to deprioritize things at home or a 3 week family beach vacation.
Maybe it’s a life changing event that’s entirely anticipated, but still, clutter gets the best of us. Because instead of looking like clutter, it’s packaged to look like buying a new house, moving in and blending households, getting married, having kids, or even downsizing.
Whatever the circumstance, we innocently fall victim to becoming disorganized.
The good news? Let it go.
This happens to all of us. Sure, maybe it happens to some more than others, but in the end, we all have clutter.
We say it all the time here at Elegant Simplicity, “Clutter Connects Us.”
Don’t feel ashamed or unworthy of having a beautifully organized home. Rather, recognize that while it’s frustrating right now, getting organized again is simply part of an ongoing process.
Disorganized Because Of Bad Habits
Before friends and family come over do you shove everything out of sight + shut the door to your bedroom or office? If so, hello darling — this might be you.
Being disorganized comes in many forms, but lacking routines that curb our bad habits, like throwing clothes on the chair in the bedroom instead of putting them away or letting shoes + bags pile up at the door, instead of putting them in the closet when we get home.
Maybe sometimes we even toss things in the cabinet or a junk drawer because it’s convenient…(reality check: this is what we call avoidance) because there isn’t enough time to deal with all of the other questions + decisions that embody figuring out where it should actually go.
The good news is there are literally a ba-zillion other bad habits that force us to go from living in an organized home to a disorganized one. And worse yet, they make the journey of getting organized feel completely hopeless.
Not to worry, your dirty little secrets are safe with us.
You don’t have to admit it to anyone else but know that the first step to overcoming being disorganized isn’t to get rid of everything + simply rid yourself of all the clutter... it’s to determine the destination + process where it’s actually going.
“This is the process of becoming a conscious keeper :)”
My best guess, because you’re reading this, is that the thing you want in your future, for yourself + for your family, is a beautifully organized home you never want to leave. (a.k.a. a well oiled machine where you’re on your -ish + nothing falls through the cracks!)
Well then, take a closer look at your everyday routines + consider whether your daily habits are pushing you closer towards that goal of living in an organized home or pulling you further away from it?
Disorganized Because Of Accumulation
We live in a world that is infatuated with consumerism + consumption. Always buying, accumulating + getting something that’s new, better or different just because.
Sadly, many people share a common misconception, that getting organized is all about getting rid of everything so that you can start from a clean slate. And they’re also under the guise that working with a professional organizer is all about someone telling you what you can or can’t keep. #NotTrue
In fact, when it comes to our talented team of organizers at Elegant Simplicity, and for those clients who choose to work with us, that couldn’t be further from the truth.
While we cross all of your t’s, dot all our i’s + don’t make room for excuses, this is 100% non-judgment zone, my friend. That said, being disorganized as a result of having too many things appears to be the common thread for all of our clients.
No, I’m not talking about hoarding, + just because you feel like “OMG, this might be me” doesn’t mean you should feel less than. It simply means that you’re acknowledging that your life will be happier, more fulfilling, if you create more room for the things that truly matter... with less stuff.
So, if less but better would help solve your disorganized home, look around the room you're in while you’re reading this and + take note of what things can you simply do without?
BONUS: Disorganized Because Of Others
Now that you’re aware of and know a handful of the real-life reasons why someone could be disorganized (note: these aren’t all the reasons) how do you get organized if your home is disorganized because of someone else?
Well, we could write an entire article just on that alone (+ maybe we will because the struggle is real). But one of the most important things to realize is that IF someone doesn't want to get organized they won’t. You can talk until you’re blue in the face... it does no good to try and force someone you love to level up + be organized to your standards.
So, how do you help them? The best thing to do is try to come to a common ground or agreement about what you want from your home + leave it open for them to have a conversation about what they want. Be mindful not to come off judgemental about them or the things that they may value.
Ask yourself how you may be contributing to their disorganization, and then ask them how you can help them.
BONUS: Disorganized Because Of Our Pasts
All of us come from different walks of life and have different upbringings — they’re all uniquely valuable to us and it has a direct impact on how we live our lives.
If organizing isn’t your strong suit, maybe that’s because it wasn’t present in your life growing up. This isn’t to throw shade on your parents for the way they raised you... (hi mom + dad *wink*) but rather to point out that our children are learning from the home + the structure (or the lack thereof) that we create for them.
So think about what impacted you most about your childhood home + how that still exists in your life today.
Organizing is a process that never ends.
It doesn’t have to be exhausting or depleting, but perhaps many of us need to consider a new belief system about what it means to live in an organized home.
In order to remove the clutter, to rid ourselves of unnecessary, disorganized stuff + to look at your home as a place with everything you need + nothing more® getting organized can’t be viewed as a final destination but rather a lifelong journey.
A journey that we’re willing + capable of embracing because we know (without a doubt) that a beautiful, functional, + forgiving home transforms us into the best versions of who we want to be.
Not to worry friend, we’re here if you need us. If you haven’t already, check out our 4 Days To A More Beautiful + Functional Home and when you’re ready to begin your transformational journey — let’s chat.